autumnal

“...Stumbling past two blocks and six flights of stairs to get to her place. Stoners getting stoned across the hall, purple haze drowning the air; a comfortable silence. Left turn, right, left turn to her door. No need to knock; door is always open....”

terrorism

“...Just think about it. A loaded airplane has about 100 or so infidels. And getting onto the plane is a real fucking hassle. But what about the line to get past security? There are hundreds of infidels waiting in that line, with almost no security to stop you from waiting in line. Is Allah's Plan becoming obvious yet?....”

3rd period

“...Since he wasn't very popular, (green really wasn't his color) he spent majority of his time grooving in the loser wall. He didn't take the mushroom that most of the other animals were taking. He knew what they could do to your life and your brain....”

alphabet

“...If left unsupervised, you find that most women will naturaly find their way to the kitchen. Although your kitchen may appear to be safe at first, there are several potential risks that you need to be aware of. The most common accidents occur when pot handles are left hanging over the edge of the stove. Make sure to turn the handles toward the back of the stove, where she will be less likely to knock them over while she's mopping the floors....”

the shit

“...The fact of the matter is that you didn't force the hot Brazilian lingerie model to have sex with you after you fondled her, tore off her clothes, covered her in lubricant, and bound her arms and legs together. It was entirely an outcome of extreme circumstances. Last I checked, accidental sex does not count as rape.....”

obsession

“...For some time now, this bedelugma has been plaguing my existence, my very fiber of being, that which allows me to wake up in the mornings to enjoy my coffee and cigarettes, to enjoy the pleasures of erotic sex, to make love and give love, to enjoy the fine taste of a gin martini, straight up with a twist and Spanish olives impaled onto a scimitar...”

the man

“...Nobody understands the black man's plight better than a total outsider. A properly nourished, well-educated, well-financed, and socially-aware white person is able to offer unique insight into addressing black stereotypes in such a way that black people simply cannot, for they are just too high on crack to help themselves...”

sunday

“...Handled effectively, you, the wary shopkeeper, can mow down anyone who tries to rape white women or steal TV's within an effective range of 300 meters at 600 rounds per minute. In this fashion, these offenders will never come back (because you've killed them)...”

steam

“...Speaking of cheesecake, I'm still hungry. But it's okay for me to eat as much as I want because I just drank enough Slim-Fast to last twelve meals. That means that I can have twelve lunches and not gain any weight. I think I'll go to McDonalds...”

carman

“...Moreover, given the recent pattern of heat and rain, the shoes would become perfect incubation vessels, causing the bacteria in them to multiply at a greater rate. People walking by the shoes would probably collapse to the ground and choke in their own vomit....”

the best

“...As if there was any argument....”

anti-war

“...After their little excercises, they tighten their adorable little red scarves, pick up their tiny, adorable little red books, file up in rows and columns like darling, obedient soldiers, sweaty palms pressed against beating hearts, and they start chanting. Praising the People's Democratic Republic. Praising Comrade Ho Chi Minh. Praising Comrade Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. Foresaking all the ties that bind, vowing to only one loyalty, one finality, one truth: the state....”

katrina

“...I met Katrina at a party in my Copenhagen Dorm. I noticed she was drunk, and when I got close to her, I discerned an irritating odor coming from her armpits. It was the nasty stench of Body Odor. But, let's not forget that she was drunk, had a tongue ring, and was ready to give head....”

glory

“...permanently insane.
insanity...
se se
sentir
se sentir
prickle prickle tickle...”

Some works on my this section are original work.
Some are in the public domain.
Some are by others.
Some are anonymous for legal purposes.
All are appropriately credited.

Apple Sanity, Sunshine Ectasy - Text
Written by Dinah Cheshire
Exclusive property of Apple Sanity at www.applesanity.com