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No Shit?

This page will be for displaying statistics or stats for the apple sanity, sunshine ecstasy website. They won't be numbers. Statistics? Because I can always deceive you with numbers. They'll just be apple sanity stuff you can look up easily as proof. (I will update this page every few days whenever funny shit comes along.) To start off,

Strangest IP Address Stats

128.30.52.##: Massachusetts Institute of Technology -

Someone at M.I.T loves me. Really, really loves me. Hooray.

171.159.192.##: Bank of America -

It's funny because my website is anything BUT work-safe.

132.45.192.#: Chanute Air Force Base -

This time, it's funny because I've never seen this IP address until... that terrorism page was posted. Chanute Air Force Base? Why?

FUCK! THE FEDS ARE ONTO ME!

Well shit. I suppose I'm under military surveillance now. Here's a hint: I'm not Arab. I'm not Persian. I'm not Muslim. I've never travelled to any country where the predominant religion is Muslim. I don't have a towel wrapped around my head. I am not your target. I am just mocking you for your paranoia and I am just very pissed at you for using your argument of 'for the sake of national security' as a pretense to inconvenience me. At any rate, I sure as hell don't fit your racial profile.

I do, however, know that vinegar + baking soda = BOOM!. Oh, and by the way - you guys need to learn how to cover you own goddamn tracks.

Stats on Top Ten Search Engine Referrer Statistics

From the most popular searches that result in a hit to this apple sanity, sunshine ecstasy domain:

1. nipple slips
2. lindsay lohan nipple slips
3. richard ng columbia
4. lindsay lamont
5. lindsay lohan nipple
6. lindsay lohan nipple slip
7. nipple gallery
8. p charts
9. tijuana cocaine prices
10. apple sanity

The world wide web: that one, collective, universial constant that has always been, is, and will always be, masturbation fuel.

Combinations of Words that point to applesanity.com

These are some searches you might have done with your favorite search engine. My domain either ranks very high (top ten), or is the #1 hit. I'm serious: these are actual searches that other people have done. Try searching for them, either on Google or MSN.

1. apple sanity
2. sunshine ecstasy
3. richard ng columbia
4. brendan ballou
5. normal vaginal lubrication and sloppy seconds
6. lindsay lamont
7. how to kill your dad
8. how to kill your father
9. ecstasy vs cocaine
10. pure cocaine vs cut cocaine
11. praise marduk
12. vir heroicus sublimis
13. perfect site for people on ecstasy
14. praytell definition
15. praytell
16. busty peasant girls
17. gin shots
18. kill your father for the insurance money
19. Dinah Cheshire
20. ecstasy white apple
21. orange apple ecstasy
22. towelheads, infidels
23. prudential life insurance tv commercial
24. tijuana cocaine prices
25. kip hawley asshole
26. tree hugging hippies che guevara
27. i drink bombay sapphire

 

Error Statistics

Error 401 - Unauthorized attempt to access a restricted page:

# of failed attempts: 2,269

# of successes: 0

There will be more.

So check back later

Written by Dinah Cheshire
Exclusive property of www.applesanity.com
05283 hits on www.applesanity.com/stats/