Who are you?(Last modified on: Dec. 4 at: 5:51 am. EST) How are you paying for this website?Psych studies. Lots and lots of Psych studies. America?Fuck yeah! Slavery?Fuck yeah! What is the point of your website?I don't intend on selling anything besides a few services, so I'm going to fill this domain with lots of awesome kickass content to read and look at. Then, I'll get a kickass ranking on alexa.com. Then, I can generate assloads of money from advertisers. I want money. Even Jesus had to whore himself out as a carpenter in order to make money. Travelling the holy land and preaching gospel ain't cheap. Formally, please?Please go to the about subpage for a formal declaration of the Apple Sanity, Sunshine Ecstasy: organization, mission statement, and limitations. Can I get some more clarification on “Apple Sanity?”We as humans were blissfully ignorant until Adam and Eve ate the Apple. Now we're woefully knowledgeable. That's apple sanity. The tradeoff, obviously, is that humankind has lost the gift of supernatural grace from God. Consequently, all of us are doomed to inherit the original sin of Adam. Fortunately for us, Romans 5:18-21 states: Then as one man's trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one man's act of righteousness leads to acquittal and life for all men. For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by one man's obedience many will be made righteous. Law came in to increase the trespass; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Hurray for Jesus! We're saved. So now we have sanity and salvation. God bless us all. For more information on how to receive God's dispensation of Grace, please refer to the salvation subpage.Amen. How are ”Apple Sanity” and “Sunshine Ecstasy” related?If you have to ask, then it's quite evident that you have experienced neither, separately or together. What's with the monochrome, grammar, and courier font?Because I really hate all that fancy bullshit on personal webpages. Too many colors, tiny bullshit fonts, background music stream files, any blatent or accidental disregard for syntax, punctuation, sentence construction, or word meaning, all those bullshit acronyms and shorten versions of words like “ur” or “blog,” frames and fancy dhtml scripts - why? (The layout of this site isn't nearly as simple as you might think, but its minimalist style will not distract you from the kickass content.) No matter how many times you use the phrase, “to not be” in your sentences, you're still splitting infinitives. Furthermore, stop using the word, “ironic.” Whatever you're about to call “ironic” is not. Jesus never used the word, “ironic” in his gospel. “O ye lambs of God, is not life ironic?” Fuck you. What, praytell, is the definition of irony?dictionary.reference.com/search?q=irony What, praytell (pray tell), is the definition of praytell?
“ Praytell ” or “ pray tell ” is an archaic word for an even more achaic word, 'prithee,' which is simply a request. Either word is shorthand for 'I pray you' or 'I pray thee.' A 'prayer' is a essentially a request to God for something. And if we're going to make references to old English, we might as well quote Shakespeare: Diana:
But take the High'st to witness: then, pray you, tell me King Claudius : ...We pray you, throw
to earth Yes, Shakespeare provided context for the usage of 'praytell' or 'pray tell' at least three times in one scene. What can I do to help you out?If you have a registered domain name, a web log, or any sort of presence online, put a link to my web site because my website is awesome. Then, visit my web site often because this site is updated daily. Then, go to alexa.com or any search engine and do searches for my website. If you know what's good for you, you'll advertise my site directly, by adding a banner link to it. And if all else fails, send me money as soon as my PayPal account is set up. I have sophisticated access logs monitoring applesanity.com, and I will know if you put a useful link to my site. Don't fuck around. If your link looks good to me, I will put a link back to your site. That's what webrings do. Webrings beat search engines. FAQ?FAQ. Contact Information?All gifts, bribes, hate mail, and letter bombs can be mailed to: 2903 Lerner Hall Online, you can write to me on the web log or the blogspot site. Are you a fan of that show, “Desperate Housewives?”Fuck Yeah! What's with that sexy drawing on so many of your pages?I can't take credit for it, but it's a slightly modified version of a drawing made by Svetlana Dorosheva of Ukraine. You can click this link to get the original jpg file of this drawing. Drugs & controlled substances?1) Never underestimate the other guy's greed. 2) Never get high off your own supply. 3) Never sell to freshmen - they don't know shit. 4) Drugs should be decriminalized but still remain illegal. Such an act will keep drugs out of the hands of stupid Americans, while smart Americans can get as high as they want. If you get caught, you pay a hefty fine. The government gets money, you don't don't have to go to jail, taxpayers won't have to pay for another prison inmate; everybody wins. Besides, imagaine what would happen to pot culture if everybody got high. Towel under the door? What would Jesus do?Jesus would drop sunshine ecstasy. What?Don't question Him; He's your fucking Lord and Savior. Now worship Him for the Man that He is. He is more of a Man than you'll ever be. What else would Jesus do?Jesus would tell you to go the sunday guidance page, where He has given me all sorts of inspirations by channeling through His most humble servant, me, the things that He would or wouldn't do. I've noticed that several comments on your website have racist undertones. Are you racist?There's a word for people like you: APOPHENIA. So, to answer your question: no. I hate everybody equally. Equal opportunity for all. Are you a Commie?Again, there exists a word for people like you: APOPHENIA. If I'm going to make a hippie-bashing website about bashing hippies, other hippie bashers will find this site sooner or later. The target audience, however, are hippies. What better way to attract hippies than to have a page icon that represents a political system that would work wonders “in theory?” How can I advertise your site?There a few options available. I suggest you link directly to the images, because they will change periodically. Be sure to specify a white background - #FFFFFF - because the images are transparent to conserve size. Remember to specify your 'title' attribute in your <a> anchor and the 'alt,' 'width,' and 'height' attribute in your <img> tag: title="Apple Sanity, Sunshine Ecstasy" www.applesanity.com/attachments/banner_low.gif www.applesanity.com/attachments/banner_medium.gif www.applesanity.com/home/apple-sanity.gif www.applesanity.com/home/8015/apple-sanity.gif www.applesanity.com/attachments/paypallogo.gif Remember, I WILL KNOW if you put a link to my site. If your link turns out to be useful and promotional, I WILL RETURN THE FAVOR to you by linking to your site. It's called “search engine optimization.”
Written by Dinah Cheshire |
